


Nobody's Fault But Mine

by TFWDuke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Ficlet, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Heaven, M/M, Profound Bond Gift Exchange (Supernatural), Reunion, They'll use words later, mostly - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29422563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFWDuke/pseuds/TFWDuke
Summary: Written for Profound Exchange "Reunion". For saltnhalo.Dean's a little disappointed in Heaven, but Jack tells him to use his words.Short ficlet. My own little fix-it that was inspired by saltnhalo's need to see our boys sitting under the stars and being soft.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24
Collections: Profound Bond Gift Exchange: Reunion





	Nobody's Fault But Mine

Dean lifted the beer in his hand to his lips, looking up at the stars overhead. As he sat on Baby’s hood, his lips turned up in a soft smile. Even now that Sammy was here, Dean couldn’t wrap his mind around Heaven. Even after hours of sitting looking over the cliff before him, the beer in his hand was still perfectly chilled. Tonight, the flavor was one that reminded him of seedy strip clubs and old friends. Back on Earth, he would have ordered something with a little less bite, but here, he welcomed it somehow. He tried to find peace with knowing that his brother was safe, but honestly? 

_Dean was lonely._

Sam had spent the last few… whatever amount of time—it was different here, Dean had to remember—checking on their family, spending time with Eileen, talking to Jack about how new Heaven worked on a meta level. But Dean didn’t blame him. Their lives didn’t need to revolve around one another anymore. But he wondered just how Heaven could be 'Heaven' if he felt like he was missing something.

“Perhaps you don’t know how to be happy.”

Dean looked over his shoulder, surprised to see Jack walking slowly to join him on the hood.

“I don’t?” Dean returned, unamused at the kid’s scrutiny. “Nice to see ya finally.”

Jack grinned at Dean, and the hunter struggled to not feel the twinge of nostalgia he felt at the kid’s familiar face. Even now, as God, Jack reminded Dean so much of—

“Being God keeps me busy, Dean.” The words broke Dean out of his thoughts, and Jack sounded like he had a laugh in his throat. “But, I do think you struggle to be happy up here. What’s wrong with the Heaven I built you?”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing, Kid. It’s fine.” He didn’t want to be ungrateful. In theory, the place was great. Like everything else in his ‘life’, the problem wasn't what was around him. _Dean_ was the problem.

Jack gave a knowing smile. When had the kid grown up? “If Heaven is missing something,” Jack gave Dean a clap on the shoulder, “maybe you just need to ask.”

Dean froze at the words. He tried to think of what he could ask, what might be missing, but he realized Jack had already vanished. Of course. Because when your toddler was God, you couldn’t expect them to sit still. 

Dean frowned. Ask for it? What could he even ask for? The one thing in this universe that he wanted, he knew he couldn’t have. If it had been any other way, Dean knew he would have seen him by now. It was Heaven, after all. The land of sugar, spice, and everything nice. But then again, Dean _hadn’t_ asked. He'd been too embarrassed to.

Dean set his beer down on Baby’s hood. Standing and walking to the edge of the cliff he had been looking over, he turned his gaze back toward the stars. 

“Cas? You got your ears on?”

Dean didn’t expect any answer. If the angel had wanted to talk, he would have visited Dean back when he first ended up in Heaven. But, just as Dean sat down on the edge, he heard a ruffling of wings.

“Hello, Dean.” Dean didn’t look over to Cas. He didn’t need to turn his head to see that Cas was sitting on the ledge with him.

There were so many things he wanted to say. Dean had imagined yelling and screaming at Cas for sacrificing himself. He had imagined what he would say if he had the chance to think that night. He’d said everything he wanted to and more in his dreams.

But tonight, Dean just leaned over, resting his head on Cas’s shoulder, looking out and up to the stars. He felt Cas lean his check down against Dean’s hair. Dean let himself be happy for once. 

He whispered, “Me too, Cas.”

Their silence was peaceful as they looked out at the stars. They would talk in the morning. Tonight, they had each other, and for once, that was enough for Dean.


End file.
